An 80 year-old farmer went to his doctor for his annual check-up. The doctor asks him how he's feeling. Farmer says, "I've never felt better. I now have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?" The doctor considers his question for a minute and then begins. "I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid trophy hunter and never misses a season. One day, when he was going out hunting, he was in a bit of a hurry and accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun. When he got to the creek, he saw a prime beaver sitting beside the stream of water. He raised his cane and went 'bang, bang'. Suddenly, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead. What do you think of that? Farmer said, "I'd say somebody else pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver." The doctor replied, "My point exactly."
:bustingup: wow phuckin great lmao!
So, I'm walking through the park yesterday and I see this old man sitting on a bench crying. I asked him what was the matter.
He says " I'm 80 years old and I just got married to a Playboy Playmate of the Year and all she wants to do all day is romp in the sack!"
And I said "So why are you crying?!!"
Between hysterical sobs he says "I can't remember where I live."
Both funny!!!! But Dave you really shouildn't joke about age!! Lol!
lmao at both of them!!!!!!!!!!!!!
squirrel Wrote:Both funny!!!! But Dave you really shouildn't joke about age!! Lol!
You're right...what was the question???
Dude, where's my car keys???????
that first one is great......
LOL!! funny funny, but where is joke of the day #'s 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,and10?
Nitrodude....
You missed them????
Not sure I can repost 1-10 but stay tuned for more funnys!
Bubba, an airline mechanic, was bragging to his boss one day. "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name Someone, Anyone and I know them."
Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "Okay, Bubba, how about Tom Cruise"?
"Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends and I can prove it."
So, Bubba and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door and sure enough, Tom Cruise, shouts, "Bubba ! Great to see You! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!"
Although impressed, Bubba's boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Bubba that he thinks Bubba's knowing Cruise was just lucky.
"No, no, just name anyone else," Bubba says.
"President Bush," his Boss quickly retorts.
Yep", Bubba says, "I know him, let's fly out to Washington ."
So, off they go. At the White House, Bush spots Bubba on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, "Bubba, what a surprise. I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up."
Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced.
After they leave the White House grounds, he expresses his doubts to Bubba, who again implores him to name anyone else.
The new Pope," his boss replies.
"Sure!" says Bubba. "I've known the Pope a long time."
So, off they fly to Rome .
Bubba and his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Bubba says, this will never work I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards, so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope."
He disappears into the crowd headed toward St. Peter's.
Sure enough, half an hour later, Bubba emerges with the Pope on the balcony. But by the time Bubba returns, he finds that his Boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.
Working his way to his boss' side, Bubba asks him, "What happened"?
His boss looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and The Pope came out on the balcony and the Japanese tourist next to me asked, "Who's that on the balcony with Bubba"?