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Paddy the famous Irishman is driving home after downing a few at the local pub. He turns a corner and much to his horror he sees a tree in the middle of the road.

He swerves to avoid it and almost too late realizes that there is yet another tree directly in his path. He swerves again and discovers that his drive home has turned into a slalom course, causing him to veer from side to side to avoid all the trees.

Moments later he hears the sound of a police siren and brings his car to a stop. The officer, approaches Paddy's car and asks him what on earth he was doing.


Paddy tells his story of the trees in the road when the officer stops him mid sentence and says, "Fer Chris sakes, Paddy, that's yer air freshener!"
Mary is at home when there's a knock at the door. She opens it and Father Flanigan is there with a troubled look on his face.

"Hello Father, is there something wrong?" say asks.

"Mary, I have terrible news. Today there was trouble at the brewery, and your husband Sean is dead. He slipped from a platform and fell into an open vat of Stout. He drowned."

Mary gasps, and then sobbing says, " Well, at least he went quickly."

Father Flanigan reples, "No, as I understand he got out three times to pee."
lmao
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lmao