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Wink Late for Work? - 07-23-2007, 11:19 PM

http://msn.careerbuilder.com/custom/...238551139-RK-4

10 Craziest Excuses for Being Late


By Rosemary Haefner, Vice President of Human Resources for CareerBuilder.com


It's been one of those mornings. You overslept, spilled coffee on your shirt, the kids wouldn't wake up, and you left your gym bag at home. Late for work and need an excuse? You're not alone.

Sixteen percent of workers say they arrive late to work at least once a week, according to a recent CareerBuilder.com survey. One-in-four of all workers (25 percent) admit to making up phony excuses to explain their tardiness.

Reasons for coming in late varied from forgetting something at home to feeling sick to enduring a long commute. Thirty-one percent of workers attributed their unpunctuality to traffic, 16 percent blamed falling back asleep and 8 percent cited getting their kids ready for school or day care as the main cause.

Here are the top 10 examples of the most unusual excuses employees offered their managers for arriving late to work:

1. Someone was following me, and I drove all around town trying to lose them.
2. My dog dialed 911, and the police wanted to question me about what "really" happened.
3. My girlfriend got mad and destroyed all of my undergarments.
4. I woke up and thought I was temporarily deaf.
5. I just wasn't "feelin' it" this morning.
6. I was up all night arguing with God.
7. A raccoon stole my work shoe off my porch.
8. I super-glued my eye thinking it was contact solution.
9. I was putting lotion on my face when my finger went up my nose causing a nose bleed.
10. A prostitute climbed into my car at a stop light, and I was afraid my wife would see her and think I was messing around... so I got out of the car.

As explanations vary, so do men and women when it comes to being late for work. Males are less prone to tardiness with 41 percent saying they've never been late for work in their current position compared to 37 percent of females. Men are also less likely to lie about why they're late (22 percent) -- while 28 percent of women won't tell a fib, either.

Most of us make up excuses in fear of repercussions. Forty-four percent of hiring managers say they don't care if their employees are late as long as their work is completed on time and with good quality -- but others aren't so lenient. In fact, one-in-five hiring managers say they would consider firing an employee if he/she arrives late two or three times in a given year. The key is to know your individual manager's expectations and take the time to learn your employer's culture and policies.

Think you're being sly with the excuse you gave your boss? Guess again. While the majority of hiring managers don't typically question the validity of the reasons provided, 27 percent say most of the time, they don't believe the excuses.


Rosemary Haefner is the Vice President of Human Resources for CareerBuilder.com. She is an expert in recruitment trends and tactics, job seeker behavior, workplace issues, employee attitudes and HR initiatives.
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did you hear that they are going to start showing porno movies at the gas pumps
so you can see someone else getting screwed at the same time
I went into the gas station today and asked for
five dollars worth of gas......The clerk farted and gave me a receipt.
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07-24-2007, 12:16 AM

used it....
I just wasn't "feelin' it" this morning...used it

had them happen,...
I was putting lotion on my face when my finger went up my nose causing a nose bleed
A raccoon stole my work shoe off my porch......well wasnt sure it was a raccoon but something took it across the yard and i didnt find it till i cut the grass later that week.....


If at first you dont succeed, suck another seed!

I talk to Jesus, he cuts my grass!
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07-24-2007, 12:27 AM

Anybody try the Superglue one yet?


did you hear that they are going to start showing porno movies at the gas pumps
so you can see someone else getting screwed at the same time
I went into the gas station today and asked for
five dollars worth of gas......The clerk farted and gave me a receipt.
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07-24-2007, 06:43 PM

well havent used any of those. usually just tell them i had car problems. that is trouble getting into the car. the best one I heard at work was guy said he was making his lunch opened the frezzer and a frozen ham fell on his foot causing much pain.
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07-25-2007, 01:16 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Carbo View Post
the best one I heard at work was guy said he was making his lunch opened the frezzer and a frozen ham fell on his foot causing much pain.
Actually, I can see that happening! Musta hurt like hell


did you hear that they are going to start showing porno movies at the gas pumps
so you can see someone else getting screwed at the same time
I went into the gas station today and asked for
five dollars worth of gas......The clerk farted and gave me a receipt.
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07-25-2007, 07:17 PM

Looks like my boss falls in with the 44%. I'm never on time and I've been there for 10 years! Good thing I can get all my work done everyday.


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07-25-2007, 07:54 PM

i bet if u quit blowing him he'd notice how late u were every day LOL


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07-25-2007, 07:59 PM

I don't have a timeclock, so I cannot be "late for work", but the downside is that I don't know when to go home or stop working either


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07-30-2007, 12:11 PM

I once reported having projectile lepruosy


You're never to old to be immature
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07-30-2007, 11:32 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by mikeh View Post
I once reported having projectile lepruosy
WOW, I'd love to see the look on the face of the person you told that!


did you hear that they are going to start showing porno movies at the gas pumps
so you can see someone else getting screwed at the same time
I went into the gas station today and asked for
five dollars worth of gas......The clerk farted and gave me a receipt.
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