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Talking Upgrades - 12-02-2005, 01:58 PM

Dear Technical Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Drunken Boys Night 2.5 and Saturday Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.

I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run some of my other favorite applications. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall does not work on this program. Can you help me, please!!!

Thanks,
A TROUBLED USER
_____


Dear TROUBLED USER:

This is a very common problem men complain about, but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program.

Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything. It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained.

It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than with the original system. Look in your manual under "Warnings-Alimony/Child Support".

I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. I suggest installing background application program C:\YES DEAR to alleviate software augmentation. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs).

You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, regardless of their cause. The best course of action will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. In any case avoid excessive use of YES DEAR because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the operating system will return to normal.

The system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all the GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high maintenance. Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0.

Do not, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Tech Support


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4:20 yet ?
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12-02-2005, 02:38 PM

Lmao


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12-02-2005, 02:58 PM

LOL!!! Too True!


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12-02-2005, 03:04 PM

lol
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12-02-2005, 03:12 PM

thats hillarious
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12-02-2005, 03:17 PM



10/8/1871- the great Chicago fire. Approximately 250 people were killed in the fire; 98,500 people were left homeless; 17,450 buildings were destroyed and the original Emancipation Proclamation was destroyed.
Chicago Local 281, protecting lives and property for over 100 years.
Lawn sprinklers save your grass, Fire sprinklers save your a$$
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12-02-2005, 04:00 PM

my wife 1.0 crashed, so I did a re-boot, now I'm looking for the gf 7.0
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12-02-2005, 04:54 PM

i'm gonna stick with girlfriend 7.0!


Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light. Though wise men at their end know dark is right, Because their words had forked no lightning they Do not go gentle into that good night. Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay, Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
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I wanna race again!!!
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12-02-2005, 08:51 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by firesprink281
that was really a "why the hell did I do this" fake laugh


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12-02-2005, 09:01 PM

good stuff!!!


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12-03-2005, 07:52 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tex
that was really a "why the hell did I do this" fake laugh
lol


10/8/1871- the great Chicago fire. Approximately 250 people were killed in the fire; 98,500 people were left homeless; 17,450 buildings were destroyed and the original Emancipation Proclamation was destroyed.
Chicago Local 281, protecting lives and property for over 100 years.
Lawn sprinklers save your grass, Fire sprinklers save your a$$
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12-03-2005, 09:36 AM

great, just what I needed the weekend before installing wife 1.0
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12-03-2005, 09:57 AM

congrats DMAN!


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12-03-2005, 10:23 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by 7THGENDMAN
great, just what I needed the weekend before installing wife 1.0
congrats!! good luck and dont forget(like i did), the ring goes on the left hand.


10/8/1871- the great Chicago fire. Approximately 250 people were killed in the fire; 98,500 people were left homeless; 17,450 buildings were destroyed and the original Emancipation Proclamation was destroyed.
Chicago Local 281, protecting lives and property for over 100 years.
Lawn sprinklers save your grass, Fire sprinklers save your a$$
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mikeh Offline
I'm tarp as a shack!
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12-04-2005, 09:45 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by firesprink281
congrats!! good luck and dont forget(like i did), the ring goes on the left hand.
HAHAHAHAHA!

So hows the married life? Thinking about kids yet


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12-04-2005, 10:16 PM

ha wut happens if the person your marrying doesnt have a left hand huh? jk but ya rotflmfao, and congrats dman! maybe you should try installing Minivan 2.6 also....you might need it in the near future if your system decides to go haywire like that....
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